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Canada is an imaginary country that is said to exist to the north of the United States of America; due south of the world's largest icicle.
Flag of Canada

The flag of Canada with what is supposed to be a "leaf" on it

As stated, the country is not real, which means it has no major exports or imports, no culture, and of course, no people of note. But, of course, Santa Clause lives there, and he is totally real because my parents told me he is. Canada may not be real, but the icy tundras due north of the US do exist. There are many strange and wild snow-based creatures that are blood-thirsty demons. One such of these is the "Abominable Snowman," i. e. Jack Frost.

These lands are mostly prominently used for nuclear waste dumps by all sorts of countries including Russia, Japan, Englandland, and the US. Not only are there waste dumps, but there are also many factories and sweat-shops in the territory used by Government personnel to enslave children and others to build military technology. This technology also attributes to the waste dump factors. Even Santa Clause owns one of these factories.

Mythical History Edit

Even though Canada as a country does not exist, many governments and big corporations still try to convince us that it does. Why, you ask? Well, it's obvious that it's all part of one big socialist agenda. Feel free to read this history of Canada, and see if you can spot the lies (hint: all of it is a lie):

"Canada was founded in 1867, after the British got really bored of freezing their asses off every winter and decided to return to the homeland. The ones who stayed became the ancestors of today's Canadians. Canada was a rich land full of many resources such as buffaloes and shit, which made it a perfect candidate to become economically enslaved by the Americans who took everything from them and, in returned, allowed them to be free of Justin Bieber. Canada eventually developed into a sea nice people and clean cities as well as Toronto. It is now a big happy place under the trustful leadership of that one dude with the glasses and the combover"

Of course these are all lies, and if you actually believed them, then you are either very gullible, or a Commie.

"Exports" Edit

The wastelands commonly known as Canada are rich in a natural resource named "maple syrup" - slave labour is used to mine this resource, which is then sold to other countries, the profits used in selling this syrup is used in the propaganda campaign to reinforce the lie that Canada exists.

Canada is also the world's only source of bagged milk.


They say Canada was in WWI. They say they were in WWII. They actually, weren't. They were disguised Italian people who were on the Allied side of both wars who considered themselves Canada. Canada isn't a war country, it'a lazy-sitback-watchothercountriesdie type of country.